There are people with the power to attract – everyone wants to be their friend, to be like them or at least to get a compliment from them. And the most interesting thing is – it really has nothing to do with the way they look.
Here are 9 rules that will help you turn into a charismatic person. That's right, charisma is not something we are born with.
You need to have a unique look. More precisely – you need a certain item that's part of your look. That is the way that even people who don't know you will identify you. And no, it's not about beauty. However much it may sound like contradictory, your uniqueness can take the form of ugliness or deformities. It doesn't matter if it's the way you walk, your hand gestures, the tone of your voice, your behavioral manner or an item of clothing that turns you into an unforgettable figure.
Here are a few examples of such people:
Charlie Chaplin – Moustache, suit, cane
Tilda Swinton – Fluid sexuality, no makeup
Marylin Monroe – Hair color, beauty mark
Dr. House – A limp, a cane
In order for people to be drawn to you and to respect you as a special figure, you need to come up with a significance for your existence. Ambitions, goals, a desire to change something in this world. To fight for something. That is because a person without a dream is like a book without a plot. Why read a book like that?
To turn into a charismatic person, you need to first have self-confidence. You need to make brave decisions, trust only yourself, not wait for help from others, and make your ideas accessible to others. Self-confidence is felt not only through behavior, but also through speech. Avoid using expressions like, "I believe, I hope, I think, maybe, possibly".
Think a moment – would you be able to be inspired by or emulate a person who is always complaining? Of course not. Charismatic people are always in a positive frame of mind. Avoid criticizing, complaining and negative topics. Things aren’t always smooth in life either, so start conversations with topics that bring you pleasure and that will excite your listeners as well.
You need to show your self-confidence through your behavior as well. Sit up straight, don't fiddle with your clothes or your hands when you are talking, try to smile more frequently, look straight into people's eyes and avoid "closed" positions. Other than that, every time you go out, pretend that you are walking down a red carpet.
Many people are certain that the ability to tell a captivating story is a talent. But that's not always the case. In many instances, it is a habit that can be developed. Simply speak with confidence, use humor, especially self-referential humor, because the ability to laugh at oneself is a superpower. Use body language and gestures, be relaxed and positive. Don't be down on yourself if you did not manage to tell a certain joke or story. Tell about yourself, and many people will hear something interesting and will share it with their friends.
When speaking with someone always look them in the eyes. Sometimes a penetrating look is worth 1,000 words – eye contact shows that you are attentive to those across from you, and that you understand them and accept them for who they are. It is important that, when speaking with someone during an event, you don't divert your attention – don't check your phone every minute or scan those people around you hoping to find a "better" conversational partner.
Don't start feeling that you are the most important person in the world and that the number of people watching you is important. People can be drawn to someone if that someone is honestly interested in their lives, because listening to people is an art form. If you listen well to what someone else is saying, then that person will start to feel needed and even special.
Of course, it would be impossible to remember everything your conversation-mate said, but it is most important to remember their name. Here's a small tip: When someone introduces themselves to you, repeat their name – "Nice to meet you, Bob". And in order for them to remember your name, repeat your name as well, like the world's most famous spy, "Bond – James Bond".
This is a very simple trick that causes a person to like and appreciate you – copy their movements, their tone of voice, or their body language. It always works, because this method is based on human nature – the person opposite you begins to feel like you are both transmitting on the same wavelength.
In the same manner, it is possible to also learn charismatic behavior. See how famous people behave, learn their body language and the way they answer questions. This will help you feel more self-confident.Sources: